I Am in Control... Or So I Keep Telling Myself

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps”

There are certain statements in life that probably deserve a warning label. One of them is, "I've got this." Another is, "Nothing can possibly go wrong." But perhaps the grand champion of them all is this: "I am in control." Really? Let's test that theory.

Most of us begin the day believing we're in charge. We wake up on time; for some, the coffee is brewing, the calendar is organized, and for once we even remember where we put our glasses or car keys. Then we spend ten minutes looking for our phone... while using the flashlight on that very phone to search for something I lost the day before. So much for being in control.

Or consider the grocery store. We stop in for one thing—a gallon of milk— and somehow walk out with twenty-seven items, a package of cookies we never intended to buy, and everything except the milk. Then there's technology. Have you ever found yourself speaking firmly to the television remote, convinced that if you just say "Come on!" one more time it will suddenly cooperate? Or perhaps you've spent half an hour trying to fix the Wi-Fi only to discover someone unplugged the router to vacuum. We are remarkable creatures, aren't we?

The weather has a wonderful way of keeping us humble too. We wash the car, and before we pull into the driveway the clouds begin to gather. We mow the lawn in a hurry due to the rain coming and then, nothing but burnt lawn or. we decide not to mow the lawn, and it rains and rains some more. I sometimes think the weather has a committee meeting just to decide how best to keep us guessing.

Children and grandchildren may be God's most effective reminder that we aren't running the universe. We think we're going to teach them something profound, only to have them explain our own cell phone to us. We believe we have everything figured out until they ask a question we can't answer or solve a problem in five seconds that has frustrated us all afternoon.

Even church has its moments. A pastor, not me of course, may spend hours preparing a sermon, carefully organizing my thoughts on paper, only to have a someone say something, or a song is played and suddenly what looked like a well-planned message resembles the Book of Revelation more than Sunday's sermon outline. We smile, gather the pages, set them aside and wing it and quietly reminding ourselves that perhaps God has a sense of humor after all.

The truth is, life has a way of exposing the illusion that we are in complete control. We think we can control our schedules until an unexpected phone call changes the day. We think we can control our health until a visit to the doctor reminds us how fragile we really are. We think we can control other people, only to discover that there are days we struggle to control our own attitudes and reactions.

I wonder if much of our stress comes from trying to carry responsibilities God never intended us to bear. We often confuse responsibility with control. God calls us to be responsible, faithful, loving, and obedient, but He never asks us to manage the universe. Scripture reminds us, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9). Notice that the verse doesn't discourage planning. It simply reminds us who ultimately guides the journey.

There is tremendous freedom in admitting that we are not in charge of everything. In fact, it may be one of the healthiest confessions a Christian can make. I cannot control tomorrow. I cannot control what others think of me. I cannot control the economy, the weather, or whether the driver in front of me decides to stop in the middle of the road to let a squirrel cross or go 20 in a 45 zone. But I can choose trust. I can choose kindness. I can choose forgiveness. I can choose faithfulness. I can choose to love God with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself.

Perhaps real peace doesn't come when everything is finally under our control. Perhaps it comes when we stop trying to control everything and place it into the hands of the One who already holds it all. Besides, if I were truly in control, every traffic light would stay green, every church supper would have enough homemade pie for seconds, every password would be the same, and socks would finally stop disappearing in the dryer. Until that day, I'll let God be God. He's been doing an excellent job without my help all along. It's easier.

“Remember in the quest to being better, or being the best, or being first, do not miss the peace and fun of being.”